Schuetz

Do you ever wonder how often couples have sex, and how often you should be having sex with your partner? If this question has been on your mind, you are one of many. This is one of the most asked questions I get as a sexologist and relationship coach. The quick answer is, it depends!

On average married couples in the US have what they consider to be sexual activity 1-2 x per week. Yesterday I heard in one study that while most people will spend two weeks of their life kissing,and nine years watching television. If you ask me, we would have a better time if we reversed that trend.

For some, the US national average would be nowhere near enough for them. Here are five questions to ask yourself to think about your sex life:

1. How often would you have sex with your partner if you could have your way? Try to get clear on a frequency that works for you

2. How satisfying is the sex for you and your partner? If the answer is somewhat, then what can you do differently to enhance your sex life? Try whispering sweet nothings in your partners ear tonight, and make some plans to make time together right away!

3. How often is your partner in the mood for intimacy? If your frequencies are much different, which is very common in couples I see at my office or coach on the phone, then there may be some work to do together. Ask your partner what they would enjoy or what gets them in the mood, and then follow through with this!

4. How well do you know yourself sexually? Are you able to communicate what you like sexually to your partner? Many people have difficulty talking about sex openly because of social stigma and taboo. If you can learn to be more open, you may be more motivated to be sexual with your partner.

5. How are you at "getting in the mood" for love even when youre not initially? Try wearing something sexy for your partner, or plan sexy activities that get you in the mood for lovemaking! Whether you enjoy a walk on the beach, or a night on the town, get into yourself and your partner!

Frequency in sex is much more a matter of your personal choice and your choice as a couple. Use the law of attraction in your favor. If you want more intimacy, feel, think, and take action in that direction. Decide on the frequency you want and go for that.

If you would like to receive our free special report on sizzling sex tips, just send me an e-mail at Drbloom@healingcouch.com to get your free short report today! You can also sign up for our free quarterly e-newsletter called the Sexuality Times. Simply send along an e-mail and let me know that you would like the short report, the Sexuality Times, or both.