Schuetz

"Honey, it's not a race!" That is what many women will tell their partner during - and especially AFTER - they have sex. And indeed it is not a race. Yet the question is if men can help it if they feel that sex - and especially the actual intercourse - is a physical achievement. Because if you're a man, that is what it feels like.

And it happens for a very simple reason. Men are biologically programmed to do one thing as often and as good as they can: to fertilize as many females, as often as realistically possible. This is because that is what their genetic encoding tells them to do. It is the result of the survival of the species and this is what male mammals do. In fact, that is the prime task of any male species.

While we are not apes or rabbits, and much of this of course is socially unacceptable, that is what evolution has been grinding in for tens of thousands of years. And as much as a modern man doesn't want to procreate non-stop, a large part of this - albeit redundant - genetic encoding is still very much there. And since it took so long to develop, expecting that the individual male will be able to erase it in one lifetime - or even in ten or twenty generations - is totally unrealistic.

Deep down inside - driven by reflexes and not by deliberate reasoning or by choice - men will only want one thing: get in and produce a powerful blast of sperm into the vagina - as far as possible and as much as possible. Again, that is their genetic duty. Their contribution to the survival of the species. For that reason the male orgasm largely feels like an explosion: pressure being built up until it nearly bursts and then he will give everything to blast it out as far as he can. His body will react just like that and will roll all his physical energy and musclepower into one tiny ball of semen and eject it, preferably with "rocket" force. (the reality requires that - although it feels very different - men actually do not exactly "shoot very far". The best of us will manage only a few inches, but then, only half an inch is enough).

Additionally - his genetic reflexes will tell him to do all of this as quickly as possible while holding on to the female with all his strength, so the chances that the female will run and the sperm will not be used for its original design are minimal.

So, genetic encoding tells him: get it in RAPIDLY, get it in DEEP and DUMP THE PAYLOAD, no matter what the cost. The male sex hormones - driven by genetic encoding and cortex reflexes - will tell his body to do exactly that and nothing else. In that sense the human male - like any other male species - is much like a B52 bomber when it comes to sex.

The new gadget: sex for mutual fun

Evolutionary speaking, "sex for fun" is a relatively new gadget that has only been around for the last few thousand years of evolution. Ten minutes or so on the evolutionary clock. "Sex for mutual fun" - again in evolutionary terms - is something BRAND NEW, only discovered a few centuries ago. Hence - regardless how many generations have since passed - it is still something that is very much in the early adapting and learning stages.

Learning is FUN

We told you about the "female side" monkey. Here is one of its cousins: learning is a mutual thing. Men do not just have to learn about the female sexuality. BOTH still very much have to learn about the other.

In fact, learning about sex is largely a very new thing and poorly developed. Something that society in general hasn't even fully adapted. We are still very much supposed to "know" about sex. It is not something you talk about openly and freely (just look at the constant attempts by various governments, religious fanatics and politicians to try and gag those, trying to talk about it freely, for example on the Internet). Which - for example - is why a country like the United States, when it comes to teen mothers, beats the average third world country in the negative sense of the word.

Experimenting, exploring, discovering is NOT WRONG, no matter what politicians or others may tell you. It is how we - the human race - learn. We've learned to identify what types of food are indeed food and which are poisonous by trial and error. Athletes learn by trying to experiment with their body and their abilities. Babies learn by feeling, trying and exploring. Sexuality is no different! And, exploring and learning is FUN. It should be. If it wasn't we would never learn anything!

So, every time she says "Honey, it's not a race!" you aren't doing something wrong. Both of you are! Simply because BLAMING DOESN'T BELONG IN BED.

Communication is the lubricant and the tool that will help both of you (and we'll come to talk about that). Through communication and exploration you'll both find what is fun for both of you. And partners will need to teach each other.

Here is where we are touching on a specific difference between general sex and BDSM. In a BDSM context the power dynamics will be different. As a result, the submissive partner will expect the dominant to set the tone and the submissive will follow. That is usually not very helpful to the situation. BOTH partners - regardless the BDSM dynamics - will have to teach each other and dom/sub dynamics have a tendency to get in the way. Strict role behavior and the natural tendency of the submissive to try and please are likely to form a barrier, leaving one of the partners (partially) unfulfilled and blocking the road to growth. This is where a lot of uncertainties (for dominant partners) and self-blaming (for submissive partners) originates from.

The controlled rat race

So, if it is a rat race, what do you do to avoid it? You may have guessed - for starters you probably can't avoid it. But ...you can learn to control it and turn it into a well organized rat race that is fun for both.

Turning over and going to sleep

"When he's done he turns over and falls asleep." How often have men been confronted with that. And quite frankly, it is not only true, there is also very little he can do about it. The male orgasm is intense, physically intense; and the huge flows of adrenaline, combined with the sudden cut off of the tension and the physical release is what causes him to feel totally exhausted and he needs time to recuperate. Hence, it is NOT WRONG for a man to feel tired and sleepy immediately after an orgasm. It is what his body tells him to do.

Unfortunately, the female orgasm and the male orgasm do not develop at the same pace and as result, by the time the man is done the woman isn't even half way done. And his fatigue - which to her seems to be lack of interest - is her biggest disappointment. As a result, what both of you need to learn is to get your timing right. Which is why introductory play - or foreplay - is so important. Maybe not to him, but most certainly to her.

Unfortunately, during sex the erected penis literally is a loaded barrel, ready to explode any time and the longer it is kept erected, the more likely the orgasm is to come instantly (quite often almost immediately upon penetrating the vagina). And not all men are capable to maintain an erection for a very long time.

A frequently asked question: why is it that nature hasn't taken care of "in sync" orgasms for the male and female? The answer again is in genetics and evolution. If you are a woman, you may want to brace yourself for what is coming.

From the point of reproduction there is no need for a female orgasm. She doesn't need one - at least not as an incentive. She is the passive half of the reproduction process and will be fertilized, orgasm or no orgasm. The man, however, is to be lured into wanting to deposit his seed - hence it should be fun, hence an incentive, hence the orgasm.

That is also why the female orgasm is different from the male. The male orgasm is largely a physical driven one (although fantasy does play an increasing role in the male orgasm) - the female is a mentally (fantasy and emotions/feeling) driven one. For women the concept of sex for fun is much older - simply because the only function of the female orgasm is FUN (in the sense that there is no biogenetical reason for it). So, as far as sex for fun is concerned, the men are several hundreds (maybe thousands) of years behind. They are - sad but very true - evolutionary speaking - still seed-machines. Very efficient machines, but ...still.

That is not entirely true of course. Men too have discovered the sex for fun concept and quite a long time ago. Unfortunately, there are frequent conflicts between what his genetic duties tell his body to do and what his mind wants to do.

So what to do? Well, actually it isn't that difficult. As opposed to widespread urban legends: MEN DO HAVE THE CAPABILITY TO HAVE MULTIPLE ORGASMS. Just not in the same way as their female partners. In other words, it isn't a constant flow (the female "waves of orgasms"). Instead, he needs a bit of time in between before he can charge himself up again. And a simple way to do that is to make sure you eat a bit in between, preferably sugar or chocolate or a banana - anything that will give a quick energy boost. So - have an orgasm, grab a bite to eat (nothing can be more romantic), maybe have a glass of sweet wine and get ready for the next part of the session.

"Honey, was it good for you too?"

On to the the next monkey. Let's face it, your genes don't care if it was good for her or not. Your genes just tell you to dump the load, whether she likes that or not. The problem again is that what your genes tell you to do is not exactly socially acceptable and very likely not even what you want either. But then, genes don't care about social conventions or other motives. They just care about reproduction.

Fact of the matter is that both the male and the female orgasm are VERY SELFISH EXPERIENCES. The orgasm is something for YOU, not for your partner. Neither can "share" the individual orgasm with the other, nor does anyone want to. At best - if you're lucky - you can orgasm simultaniously. But that will still be two individuals, each in their own orgasmic trance.

Hence, the idea is to control the rat race by understanding and a bit of planning. But most of all by NOT WORRYING. Sex does not have to end in an orgasm for both and most certainly not in a simultaneous orgasm. And an orgasm (and especially an ejaculation [cumming]) has long ceased to be an obligation, regardless of what your genes would like you to believe. If either of you "didn't make it", that's perfectly okay. In fact, women especially will often not mind, since the orgasm itself is only partially what sex is about to them. The intimacy, the cuddling, the whatever-else-she-likes will usually be much more important. And, in a BDSM-setting the orgasm will actually be much more of a release valve and not so much the goal of the entire thing.

Four hints for succesful sex

1. An orgasm is not a goal, the intimacy is. No orgasm is not a disaster - in fact, the orgasm, yours or hers, is nice to have but entirely unimportant (unless you are really planning to create offspring, in which case HIS ejeculation - which is not the same as an orgasm - IS important).

2. Simultaneous orgasms are PURE LUCK - if it happens it is great, but the chances are 100 to 1 that it won't, so don't bother.

3. The trick is in planning. There are many ways to achieve an orgasm. If you bring HER to an orgasm and masturbate to have your own later, that is perfectly okay, for example. As a man having an orgasm is easy, so the emphasys should be on her - it takes her longer to get there and it takes more effort. So if it is important to you both to have an orgasm during sex, make sure she gets there first. You can either "hop on the train when she's close to the station" or have your own orgasm later.

4. Take the stress out of your lovemaking. Stress is sex and libido killer number one. Stress at work, stress at home, stress in the relationship, financial stress AND stress because you feel your sex has to accomplish something are all very negative influences. Relaxation helps. Make it fun and take your time. Have a shower or even better a bath first (the Japanese have turned bathing into an artform in itself), go romantic, go kinky, go sexy, go exciting, but DO something to take your mind off the daily stress and worries. Creative sex, with regular changes and surprises, also improves your sexlife.

Hans Meijer, a Dutch former journalist and government spokesmen, is the chairman for the Powerotics Foundation. This organisation is dedicated to provide quality information about alternative lifestyles.

Remembering someone special in a personal way can be healing for everyone concerned, for a eulogy is a deeply personal way of saying goodbye. The key word is life, and you've been given the opportunity to celebrate a loved one's life in the individual way that made your friend unique. Don't be daunted by the task, just take these simple steps for a sincere and moving last farewell.

To prepare a eulogy, you will need to be well prepared. The eulogy should convey your feelings and your experiences and should be written in an informal, conversational tone. Its not for summarising the person's life and it doesnt have to speak for all present. Just sit down and write from your heart. So, where do you start?

1. Get your material

First, collect some biographical facts : age, working life, marriage dates, places lived, children, and so on. Ask the family, they will welcome the chance to talk about their loved one. Then collect personal facts : special skills and accomplishments, characteristics, hobbies, etc. Now think about the stories you remember, or the turn of phrase or typical behavior that captures a person's character so well.

Here are some questions to get you thinking:

• How did you and the deceased become close? When did you meet?
• What's a humourous or touching event that sticks in your mind. Does it represent the individuality of your friend?
• What did you most like and admire about the deceased?
• What will you miss most about this person?
• What will you always remember?

Some of the simplest thoughts are deeply touching. For example, "I'll miss his crooked grin Ill always remember her bubbling laugh. These warm touches will bring loving memories to those who are listening. Some of the best memorial services are filled with fond remembrances and laughter. Poetry is inspirational, and also of great assistance in writing a eulogy.

2. Organise your material

Write your notes in point form on sheets of paper or on 3x5 file cards - one idea to a card. Now group the cards into piles of similar topics. Then sort each pile of cards into a logical order. Write your first draft. Use linking sentences to make each topic flow easily into the next. Pay most attention to your beginning and ending. As you write, edit and polish, keep the words "celebration" and "thanksgiving" in your mind.

3. Practice!

If youre not used to speaking in public, start practicing. Run an Internet search on 'speaking tips' or borrow a book on speaking from the library. Read your speech into a tape and then play it back. You'll be able to polish your eulogy and your delivery. Now stand in front of a mirror and practice some more. Even someone who has never spoken in public at all will do a good job with practice.

4. How do you keep calm?

It doesn't sound easy, but you can do it. If you're worried about choking up or breaking down in the middle of your eulogy, you can take a moment to compose yourself, then carry on. This is perfectly acceptable. If youre afraid you might break down while in the middle of the eulogy and find yourself unable to recover, ask someone ahead of time to be ready to take over at a signal from you. Give them a copy of your eulogy. Just knowing you have a backup speaker will probably be all you need to stay calm.

Above all, remember to breathe

You'll only have to speak for five to ten minutes, but your gift will live on in the hearts of the deceased's family and friends

Susanna Duffy is a Civil Celebrant, grief counsellor and mythologist. She creates ceremonies and Rites of Passage for individual and civic functions, and specialises in Croning and other celebrations for women. http://celebrant.yarralink.com

ANTABUSE:

Antabuse, or disulfiram as it is also known, was the first medicine approved for the treatment of alcohol abuse and alcohol dependence by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. It is an "aversive," serving as a physical and psychological deterrent for someone trying to stop drinking. It does not reduce the person's craving for alcohol, nor does it treat any alcohol withdrawal symptoms.

Research in Europe, where Antabuse is much more widely used than in the United States, has shown that long-term use of Antabuse is effective in helping some people stop drinking, producing abstinence rates of up to 50 percent. The longer people take Antabuse, the more effective it is, because they develop a "habit" of not drinking, which reinforces the establishment of alternative coping skills and behaviors.

While not generally recommending the use of Antabuse, some individuals find it effective and its use isn't ruled out completely. If you are contemplating it as an option, however, please read the following very carefully and discuss the possibilities with your physician.

Antabuse works by interfering with the bodys usual metabolic processing of alcohol into toxic acetaldehyde then into harmless acetic acid. Because of this, a build up of acetaldehyde five or 10 times greater than normally occurs when someone drinks alcohol. These high concentrations can cause reactions that range from mild to severe, depending on how much Antabuse and how much alcohol is consumed, along with individual tolerance of the drug.

If you drink while taking Antabuse, you may experience flushing, nausea, copious vomiting, sweating, thirst, throbbing headaches, respiratory difficulty, chest pain, hyperventilation, tachycardia, and distress. Severe reactions can include respiratory depression, cardiovascular collapse, myocardial infarction, acute congestive heart failure, unconsciousness, arrhythmias, convulsions, and death.

CAMPRAL:

Campral is prescribed as a "post_abstinence" or "anti-relapse" support medication. It has no effect on cravings, withdrawal, or other early intervention discomforts. The results of European studies seem to indicate a modest positive effect - compared to placebos - after abstinence has been attained, with relapse prevention benefits lasting few months. There are no such benefits for people seeking to moderate their alcohol use.

While recommending neither for nor against Campral, informed decision making suggests, at this time, a very modest long-term benefit from Campral in widening a person's "window of opportunity" for making change.

For some individuals even a very small increase in results is enough reason to seek medical assistance. Again, individual responses to medications vary greatly and you should explore what works best for you.

Even Campral's manufacturers note that it's effectiveness is directly related to participation in ongoing counseling.

There are no magic cures, no pills, for alcohol related problems, only opportunities for change. Success involves coordinated efforts in a variety of areas over a year or more, and poor planning will always be expensive in time, money, health, and other costs.

Pick your method of treating your alcohol related concerns with care, stay focused, and seek qualified help with a personally compatable philosophy.

Dr. Edward Wilson has developed alternative alcohol recovery and moderation programs since 1990. He is the co-founder and clinical director of Your Empowering Solutions, Inc. in southern California. Learn more about Dr. Wilson, Dr. Mary Ellen Barnes and the work at YES! by visiting their website: http://www.non12step.com

There are various ways to promote your company brand and one of the smartest marketing gimmicks is gifting promotional items such as umbrellas. Gifting promotional umbrellas printed with a smart catch-line can make your business popular in the public. This will eventually result in more profits and sales. Promotional umbrellas can be very colourful, bright, and available in various colours such as white, blue, red, and green. You can even get promotional umbrellas in the colour of your company's logo creating a unique design symmetry and balance.

Promotional umbrellas are definitely eye-catching and thus, try to keep them in stock so that you can gift them instantly to your potential clients, customers, and even employees. In the UK, rain is a common factor for 3-4 months of the year. This ensures that your promotional umbrellas will be regularly used, resulting in repeated exposure of your brand name. A companies' main aim is to increase visibility, brand recognition, and boost sales. If you wish to effectively boost the sales of your company, try to choose those promotional umbrellas that have a real value to your recipients. Try to make your umbrellas very attractive so that the recipient is enthusiastic to carry them. However, make sure that there is a balance between texts and graphics used on promotional umbrellas, as too much of graphics or texts can give a jarring image. To get more sales, it is very important to spend time and expertise on evolving the correct promotion message or graphic to be printed on the umbrella. Messages can be printed on the umbrella span or its interior or even on its stem, aiming at connecting with the customer psyche. As soon as you have won customer loyalty, your promotional umbrellas will start to work as selling agents.

Promotional umbrellas are aggressively used during open-air trade shows, conventions, and exhibitions. You can gift promotional umbrellas to people who either take your services or sign a form with you. Your gifted promotional umbrellas will act as token of appreciation to them and after receiving are likely to be motivated and geared up to use your services. While buying promotional umbrellas make sure that you contact the best supplier so that you get good quality umbrellas. In the UK, there are a variety of suppliers who guarantees strong, high quality promotional umbrellas.

There are a range of leading UK suppliers providing top quality promotional umbrellas to their clients so that they can use them to boost their sales. They house some of the best designers to ensure that you get the best design on your promotional umbrellas. To buy promotional umbrellas, printed umbrellas, promotional gifts, and promotional items and products at the best possible prices check out these leading suppliers online.

Gareth Parkin is the co-founder of Ideasbynet.com, the UK's leading online promotional umbrellas and printed umbrellas supplier based in the north of England. Ideasbynet was established in 2001 and has taken the UK promotional gift market by storm.

If you are pregnant and experiencing signs and symptoms of heartburn, you should know that pregnancy can be an acid reflux cause. Even if you have never had acid reflux nor the signs or symptoms of this condition, being pregnant alone can be an acid reflux cause.

Those who are pregnant and are experiencing a burning sensation in their throats or the middle of the chest and having a taste that is sour and acidic in your mouth may be a condition that they are becoming all to familiar with experiencing. Why does this happen and why is pregnancy an acid reflux cause?

There are quite a few reasons that pregnancy is an acid reflux cause. For one thing, women who are pregnant are having increased hormonal levels while the simple act of being pregnant can cause a softening of the ligaments that are used to keep your lower esophageal sphincter or the LES, closed tightly. When this happens at an inappropriate time, the stomach acids and the food you have consumed can come back up into the throat and esophagus.

As the baby grows, there will be increased pressure on your stomach and the organs inside you as your body changes to fit the growing babys needs. Simply because of this pressure, it can force food through your LES and be an acid reflux cause.

Most women who experience acid reflux cause when pregnant can take steps to minimize the effects of the signs and symptoms of heartburn. One of the steps you can take is to eliminate foods that are acid reflux cause. By now you must realize what many of the foods are that trigger acid reflux symptoms. By avoiding those foods you can do a lot to manage your condition.

Stay away from foods that are tomato based and dont drink acidic juice such as lemonade, cranberry or orange juice. Though these foods are healthy for your baby; they may be an acid reflux cause which in turn makes the expecting mother miserable.

Speak to your doctor if you are experiencing any problems related to acid reflux. He or she can put you on a path that will help to minimize the effects of acid reflux while you are pregnant. Before you know it, you will be holding your new baby in your arms, back to eating all your favorite foods that were an acid reflux cause.

For more information about Acid Reflux Causes, feel free to visit us at: http://www.about-acid-reflux.com/article-3-Acid-Reflux-Causes.html

Passport to Wealth is a fairly new company in the home business arena. Passport to Wealth offers a home business opportunity by selling or marketing their products through the direct selling industry.

The Passport to Wealth product line is compiled of many software titles on internet marketing. The Passport to Wealth opportunity consists of marketing these programs for $997. According to the passporttowealth.com website, there are several different titles of software that come with the business.

The Passport to Wealth business opportunity contains a 2-Up compensation plan with a payout of $997 for every sale made by the qualified affiliate. The issue with the Passport compensation plan is the requirement of two sales (hence 2-Up). To get started with Passport to Wealth, a new person must pay $997 to become an Passport business associate and then give up almost $2000 ($997 x 2) from their first two qualifying sales to their qualified sponsor. This means they must give up almost $3000 before they can earn any wealth from the program. Another issue with the Passport to Wealth 2-Up program is that if you bring in someone who makes a sale or two per day, you only get their first 2 sales and then you no longer get paid on their efforts. They then breakaway from the sponsor and actually end up becoming the competition. This doesn't give the qualified PassporttoWealth sponsoring associate much motivation to help the new associate since they will ultimately become competition.

In conclusion, Passport to Wealth seems to have a decent product line, but the comp plan leaves more to be desired. Some people do well with 2-Up programs, but most struggle. If you are an experienced internet marketer and don't mind having to pass up your first 2 qualifying sales, then the Passport to Wealth business opportunity might be the right fit for you.

Brian McCoy is a top internet marketer and works with other industry leading marketers from around the world. To learn more, click here to get his Top Marketer's Newsletter.