Schuetz

OK - this is not the most exciting topic out there when it comes to sex and I know you are all probably tired of getting the safe sex lecture every where you go. But the truth is, it cannot be stressed enough. The rate of HIV and sexually transmitted infections tells me that not everyone is paying attention and lets be honest here; it is a scary world out there these days when it comes to sexually transmitted infections and HIV. For more detail, please see my article on sexually transmitted disease facts.

Sex comes with many things; among them are risk and responsibility. You have the responsibility to protect yourself and your partner from HIV, sexually transmitted infections and unplanned pregnancy. In other words, you have the responsibility to have sex with the lowest risk for these things possible.

While I may discuss a lot of sexual behaviors and techniques here, let me be perfectly clear that for the sake of argument, when I write about such things I am assuming that those of you out there that are heeding my advice and tips about how to spice things up in your respective bedrooms are practicing safer sex. But what does that mean? The following are a few simple steps you can follow to make sure you are practicing safer sex at all times:

* You and your partner have both been tested for HIV and sexually transmitted infections and if either of you are positive for anything you will be treated if possible and will protect each other from infection.

* You and your partner will use condoms, either male or female to protect yourselves against HIV and sexually transmitted diseases.

* You will use condoms and dental dams while engaging in oral sex.

* You and your partner will negotiate whether or not you will practice monogamy and if you decide to be non-monogamous you will agree to use safer sex practices with any other partner.

* You do not engage in any sexual behavior that puts you in contact with anyones bodily fluids.

* You know your partners history, sexual and other wise. Have they ever had an STD? Have they ever used drugs? Shared needles? When was the last time they had sex with someone besides you?

* If you do not desire pregnancy you will use a reliable form of birth control.

* If you are diagnosed with a sexually transmitted disease or HIV you will tell your partner immediately so they may seek testing and treatment.

I know it sounds like the most unromantic thing you have ever heard but believe me, knowing you are protected from HIV and sexually transmitted diseases as well as unwanted pregnancy will actually help you relax and enjoy yourself in bed. Once you and your partner agree to take these steps, the pressure is off and you can concentrate on having an amazing sex life.

One more thing, do not think that safer sex has to take the excitement out of your sexual repertoire.. There are a lot of things you can do to have safer sex that is hot, hot, hot! Here are just a couple of examples: Putting on a condom takes just a few seconds and it can be really hot to help your man put it on! Better yet, learn how to do put it on your man with your mouth! Using flavored lubricant can make oral sex even more appetizing!

My absolute favorite resource for keeping safer sex exciting is a great book called The Hot Guide To Safer Sex written by my friend and colleague Yvonne K. Fulbright. You can get it on Amazon.com and it is well worth it.

The most important thing to remember is you need to respect yourself and your partner enough not to put each other at risk. No night of passion is worth your life, or your fertility. And while I know that bringing up the subject of getting tested and sexual history is not easy or pleasant, in the world we live in today, it is necessary. Another thing to consider is the idea that if you do not know someone well enough or are not comfortable enough with someone to address these issues, you may want to reconsider whether or not you want to share your body with them.

Kelly Connell better known online as "SexPert Kelly" is a contributing author to many sites dealing with Human Sexuality, Dating and Relationships. Her newest project covers online dating and how the newly single amongst us can maximize their online dating experiences while minimizing the disasters... :-) click here to read more!