Schuetz

I must first present the disclaimer: as only one man, I cannot, and will not, speak for the rest of my gender. I can only present my side of the story and the details and ideas I have personally acquired throughout my short yet informative and experienced mature life.

From a time I can barely recall, lingerie has been a dear part of my heart. At that certain point in a mans premature teenage years, he begins to take notice of the opposite gender. Much of this takes place in anything he can get his hands on: department store catalogs, an uncles pornographic magazine collection, and most recently, I suppose the internet.

My memories take me back to a tree fort belonging to the boys of the neighborhood. We spent many long summers building and perfecting the gathering place where we would share the freshest contraband we could somehow acquire. Probably not too far a stretch from most ordinary boys and their neighborhood pals.

My college years were not too different. Living with male roommates, there was no shortage of adult magazines to flip through while watching another rerun of The Simpsons. These porno mags seemed central to all bathroom reading material belonging to most male inhabited apartments or houses I had the pleasure of stepping into.

My adoration of the porno mag was not just about the bare image of a lady. It had just as much to do with the glamorous lingerie she was in the middle of taking off. What is it about lingerie that starts a young lads engine? Men are much more visual than our counterparts, this I understand.

But why would I rather see a lady in fine lingerie than with nothing on at all? The only answer I can give is the imagination. Since we are such visual creatures, we rely on our perception. This scenario may be similar to the beer goggles one may experience late at night. We lean on our imagination and perception to trigger our sexual fantasies. We close our eyes and dream of the possibilities. Lingerie is the trigger of our minds endless pursuit of fantasy.

Then why do I freeze up in the lingerie store?

It may be for none other than lack of knowledge. We (men) are not here on Earth to predict the unpredictable. We go with the flow. There is no way to know what kind of lingerie she will like, and we will undoubtedly buy her a size that will leave her feeling insulted.

When we see a woman in an appealing ensemble of intimates, we always seem to know what we like, but we cannot possibly transfer this data to what she will like. We can satisfy ourselves in this situation, but never the other. Therefore, we both lose.

There will be a time when we hit the jackpot, though. Its a numbers game. If we buy her enough lingerie, we are bound to get it right at least once. This is no minor victory in the mans mind. The fireworks will be seen by all, and those who missed it will get the play-by-play.

Lingerie follows the golden rule of gift giving in general: it is the thought that counts. This is the rule we truly understand, and when we fail we have no excuses. To repair the damage, most of us resort to the action we shouldve taken in the first place.